In all these blogs I’ve written I’ve touched upon a number of subjects but I’ve never ventured into fiction, rather to tell tales of the past through my eyes and generally rant while telling people off and swearing a lot. Well, there’s ideas I’ve had over the years that I never got further than ideas formed down the pub, or even as far as some scribbled bits of paper which somehow formed sentences, paragraphs and everything! I even had an idea of doing a seriously filthy porn comic featuring the sort of sex you clean up with a mop and bucket, but decided against that as I didn’t want to be the new Alistair Campbell. I’m not going to share that for the sake of all that’s decent….
I do however want to share some other ideas. Firstly I wanted to do a giant monster story where the focus was on the people trying to survive the attack of whatever giant monster would be attacking. If this sounds like Cloverfield then you’d be right, but the idea was something already touched upon in various Godzilla films over the years, but what I had knocking around in my head was to update Gorgo to a modern British setting.
The basic idea from what I remember was that a giant monster would be found while searching for oil and gas in the North Sea (I was working on a magazine for the Institution of Civil Engineers at the time, so I was up for throwing in lots of civil engineering stuff and in fact I wanted a civil engineer as the main character), cause some general carnage off the shores of the north east of Scotland wrecking oil rigs, and then be subdued and taken to dry land where the government would take over a huge, empty part of Scotland to turn it into a lab where they’d conduct an examination of the beastie (after pumping it full of more drugs than you’d find in a rave in 1989) rather than have it being part of a circus. During the source of this poking and prodding the government boffins would find our the beastie is just a child and that there must be another couple of adult beasties, and lo and behold an adult beastie would come ashore at Edinburgh and level the city.
There’d be lots of other stuff to fill in that I never worked out, but I wanted the last shot to reflect that of Gorgo where the adult and child monster walk into the sea to live happily ever after. However I wanted them to walk out from a wrecked London which has been bombed to rubble as the government tried to stop our heroic monsters from destroying everything. It was all supposed to be satirical of the Iraq War but I really just wanted giant monsters smashing up British cities while people run away screaming because that’s what should be in every giant monster story.Trying to do something like this in the wake of Pacific Rim is frankly pointless, but if I ever get the time I might flesh it out for a laugh, and to write a big setpiece where Leicester gets nuked by accident by American planes. Satire innit…
Next up was something I did back in the 80’s when I fell in love with Love & Rockets and have dabbled with on and off over the last 27 or so years. The initial idea was for a bunch of superheroes living normal lives, so for example you’d have a Batman type character getting diarrhoea( because he’s on a vegan diet and had a bad lentil curry) while fighting crime and having to take a night off to clean his tights, or a character who could only turn invisible when they were sexually aroused which meant before going to stop crime he’d browse some quality jazz mags to kick his powers into gear. The idea was it it would be all high satire, but then Garth Ennis did The Boys which made it all fairly pointless.
I’ve always wanted to do some sort of updated romance comics like those old great Simon and Kirby comics from the 40’s and 50’s, but in a modern setting. There’s mileage there and with the increase in women and girls readers I reckon doing something would be worth doing especially in an anthology format where others would be able to create their own stories, plus it’d be a diversion from the increasing Americanisation of British comics where for many now ‘superhero comics=comics’ rather than being a genre within a medium.
All of this comes from an urge not just to create comics as I think 100% of people who’ve read comics has thought about at some point, but to try to do something new, and maybe not completely original, but something better than what I was reading at the time. It’s highly unlikely I’ll do anything like that, but you never know. I do have a great idea for a horror story set in a call centre though….