I don’t think I want to listen to David Bowie’s final album, Blackstar. I don’t think I can. This isn’t because I despise Bowie, or what snippets I’ve heard sound awful, but the idea of hearing a final album from Bowie and then knowing that’s it; there’s nothing else new I’ll ever hear from David Bowie is a concept so hugely depressing that I can’t bring myself to sit down and listen to it.
When Bowie died from cancer back in January I was gutted beyond words. I could barely articulate what I felt and when a few months later I myself was diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to avoid listening to the album probably due to it being a reminder of my own mortality even though my diagnosis isn’t terminal it’s bad enough to have considered my own untimely demise often over the last six months.
Which brings me back to Blackstar. It’ll remain unlistened to my myself.I don’t need to be reminded of Bowie’s early demise, nor do I want to have no more Bowie to listen to. I want to keep that thrill of excitement over a new Bowie album going for as long as I can before I finally (and I will) give out and accept Bowie’s gone and what we’ve got is it.
So I hope Blackstar wins this year’s Mercury Prize but for me, for now, I’ll back off from listening to it until I’m ready to accept Bowie is gone.