From despair to where: A cancer story

It’s Monday so here’s a tune

Now we’re all energised, here’s where I am after a fortnight back in Glasgow. It. Is. Cold. It. Is. Dark. However after an initial couple of weeks adjusting, there’s now a feeling of moving on, and my worries that my medical care would be broken resulting in weeks of worrying, then waiting has been washed away. My GP has seen me, taken blood and I get the results of that on Wednesday, and for around 90 minutes today I had a very nice, and informative chat with Alicia and Stephanie, the two Macmillan support workers based in Dennistoun library here in the beating heart of Glasgow’s East End.

They explained the differences in how Macmillan work in Scotland compared to England, heard my story, well, an edited version of it which I’ve become adept at telling and kindly helped get me into the system here in Scotland. Although my savings mean there’s no need to think about work this side of March it would be stupid to refuse what financial help both the state, and amazingly, Glasgow City Council, can offer me. This apparently can be quite a bit and although Alicia and Stephanie were not medical workers (I’m now awaiting one to be assigned to me) they also pointed out that due to me also recovering for a stroke that I probably shouldn’t think of working til the spring at least.

So, after a couple of weeks I feel I’m finding my feet on the cold, icy ground which brings me to what I’m actually going to do with my life now it seems like I’ve been given a chance to actually have one after two close breaths with death this year. I’m a cocky, and good enough bastard to walk into any job that pays bills but that feels a waste. My writing here and at That’s Not Current (and another site which I hope to firm up this or next week) is just part of the future but I want to put something back as I feel if my experiences and abilities as a human being can help someone else going through awful times then good. If I can help someone fight whatever they need to fight, then good. With that in mind I’m going to speak with whomever Macmillan assign me in what careers are available, and I’ll be looking at the various colleges and universities in Glasgow as I’m also now eligible for further education grants thanks to the Scottish government not beingTory bastards.

The next month though is putting things together as well as resting, recovering and this week, I’m injecting myself back into the Glasgow comics scene, which should be interesting as I’m now the ‘old crowd’ which means I should be dead, a millionaire, socially maladjusted or a gleefully enthusiastic fan. I’m happy being the latter.

There’s moments still of despair and fear. That’s only natural as I’m not all clear with cancer, and I’m still at risk of another stroke but for the first time in months it feels like I’m going somewhere. I just have to make sure it’s going to be the right path.

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