Watch the Mullholland Drive unaired TV pilot

Mulllholland Drive is one of the best films of this century and arguably David Lynch’s best film. With the return of Twin Peaks in May, it’s worth looking back at what Mullholland Drive as before the film which was a TV pilot which was never broadcast but one of the great things about the internet is that very little stays hidden from it. The unbroadcast pilot is on YouTube and it’s a very odd affair if you’re familiar with the film as although much of it makes up most of the first half of the film there’s enough differences to make this a very essential bit of viewing for Lynch fans.

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What I thought of Hook Jaw #5

After the penultimate issue we arrive at the climax of this revived series of Hook Jaw as it draws to a close and finally delivers the blood and gore it’s teased throughout its short run. To recap; the baddie Somalian pirates and the baddie Americans have all kidnapped, threatened and tortured each other and the rapidly depleting band of environmentalists are stuck in the middle of a power-play that threatens the world.

Writer Si Spurrier manages to tie things up in a nice little bow and in the grand Hook Jaw tradition there’s only one character out of the main cast who survives to presumably tell the tale of Hook Jaw and what it is. Hook Jaw now isn’t just a slavering eating machine but a figure of folk mythology bordering on the supernatural as well as being an eating machine. As a series it lacked a certain bite for gorehounds, but managed to beef up the actual character of Hook Jaw which is something of an achievement.

So overall a good solid mini-series that now its introduced the concept to a new generation of readers moves onto greater things, assuming of course that Titan continues to publish stories.

Boris Johnson drinks Mugwump jism

That was the first thought when I heard the Tories prime fuckwit Boris Johnson call Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn a ‘mugwump’ this morning and no, this wasn’t a word make famous in usage by J.K Rowling. That belongs to William Borroughs who used it in The Naked Lunch which was eventually made into a fine film by David Cronenberg which in turn spawn a quite wonderful tune from Bomb the Bass.

So next time you think of Boris Johnson, imagine him supping on a glass of Mugwump jism…

What I thought of The Flash #21

When watching a car crash it’s said to happen in slow motion. Well, it doesn’t and DC’s attempt to integrate Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons Watchmen into the DC Universe and blame it for all of DC’s fuckups continues from the last issue of Batman to the latest issue of The Flash. To be fair the issue starts well as being a fan of the Justice Society of America it is nice to see Johnny Thunder at the start of this issue.

However the issue picks up from Batman #21 with Barry Allen finding not just Batman having had the living shite beaten out of him by the Reverse Flash, but the corpse of the Reverse Flash.

This isn’t actually bad superhero comics. Barry Allen is a bit too draped in misery to be the Barry Allen I grew up with but this is all decent, even passable stuff. It just feels a tad forced but there is a nice scene between Barry and Bruce Wayne which allows both characters to breathe a bit.

During this chat Bruce reveals to Barry he saw his father in a vision.

It seems also that the Comedian’s badge from Watchmen didn’t return with the Reverse Flash,not to mention Barry’s been having visions of Jay Garrick’s helmet.

In this reality Jay Garrick (the original Golden Age Flash) never existed, but yet Barry can’t stop thinking about his helmet and how it makes him feel. There’s a suggestion a lot of things from the pre New 52 era of DC is about to make their return, and indeed, when Barry goes to the JLA’s Watchtower there’s clearly been some tweaking going on.

After some faffing around The Flash and Batman go off in search of the Comedian’s badge, or to be exact, where it came from. To do that Barry digs out the Cosmic Treadmill which takes him and Batman though time and space.

What they see are all the missing out of continuity stories DC decided to dump for one reason or another.

Barry and Bruce end up back in the Flashpoint universe with Bruce’s father who is the Batman of this universe. Confused? Of course you are if you’ve not got any idea of the history of DC Comics. and frankly, it’d have been easier to just reboot DC’s superhero titles from the start but being attached to continuity means this complex bollocks.

Still, it seems that DC are heading towards at least making things more accessible unlike Marvel who are stuck in a mess of their own making. Still, two more parts of this story arc to go and we might just be nearer that Batman-Rorschach team-up people have been wanking themselves into a frenzy for.

A vote for the Tories is a vote for their cruel policies

That’s the simple fact in the elections coming up, both local and UK wide. Vote Tory, and you vote for their policies. You may think Ruth Davidson is all jolly hockey sticks and not like other Tories, or that Theresa May is a ‘strong’ leader.or if you want to ‘send a message’ about a second independence referendum, or block a second EU referendum so voting Tory becomes an option then remember what you’re voting for.

You’re voting for the party of food banks. You’re voting for the party that cuts PIP payments. You’re voting for the party of the bedroom tax. For the party of austerity.For the party that’s driving people to kill themselves rather than live in a country where the government makes their lives hell.

That’s what you’re voting for. You’re voting for a party with no sense of human decency. Consider that in the local elections in May and in the general election. Do you really want to give Theresa May the mandate to run riot with worker’s and human rights?

So, a simple choice. Vote for a party who’ll beat a Tory candidate or for a Tory who’ll back people’s lives being made intolerable. Make your choice.

Does the SNP and the Independence movement’s ”Scottishness” frighten people in the rest of the UK?

I was following a Twitter conversation the other day and it hit an interesting point.

I’ll explain what I mean but it does involve a bit of a read to get there so be warned…

Barring Labour supporters outside of Scotland angry they’ll never ‘win Scotland back’, there’s a chunk of people in England (and much of this is anecdotal on my part but it supports what others have found) who do look at the SNP (and Plaid Cymru in Wales) as something alien.

I spent 28 years living in England. Until the advent of the internet I could only pick up what was going on in Scotland via visits or more normally, though second, third, fourth, etc hand reports. Upon visiting Scotland in 1999 I was amazed there was any serious support for the SNP as although by this time my eyes were opened to the shitshow that was Tony Blair’s Labour, I’d shuffled over to nominally voting for the Lib Dems. The SNP for me, were ‘Tartan Tories’. Independence was a joke and barring the odd shining star like Margo McDonald the SNP were as much a threat as the Tories or Labour.

At this point I was a nominal supporter for the Union. True, I wanted full devolution, even a form of federalism, but independence seemed divisive as I truly felt the people of the UK worked better together. I had seen the slow destruction of Scotland continue on visits home (the sight of seeing the blue towers of Ravenscraig gone still shock me) but I was seeing the Tory destruction of parts of London, the Midlands and the South West. I thought the only way to fight the Tories was finding a UK alternative to them yet I never really included the SNP as part of that because I saw them as a ”Other’. They didn’t want solidarity, and the idea that cultural identity was as important as beating the Tories meant that had I lived in Scotland at the time, I’d be against the SNP.

For years I’d lived in England and never (bar one time in Staines with a drunken arsehole) had any xenophobic abuse. Yeah, there was banter with mates, but that was what mates do when they’re having a drunken session and it was both ways, not to mention it wasn’t serious. It wasn’t real, actual, xenophobic abuse. Around 2009 I had UKIP supporters in Bristol speak of Scots as a second-class race essentially. Then their bottom-feeders, the English Democrats, produced an election broadcast which was so xenophobic towards Scots that I complained to Ofcom. Everything changed & I blame a lot of that on UKIP. I no longer felt there was a level of equality in the UK, and my eyes were opened that for a section of people in England they clung onto a form of imperialism where Scotland was the property of an Empire. What I found equally extraordinary is that this wasn’t now coming from the right, but friends of mine who I knew were lefties were pushing a similar line.

Then the Scottish independence referendum campaign happened and the concept of even a Scottish identity in the UK was challenged. You didn’t accept a version of the UK where you plead fealty to the UK and suppress any lingering cultural identity of your own. For some on the left in England especially, multiculturalism didn’t extend to people from the UK as your identity as a Scot threatened the UK identity. That was the default as after all, as I’ve said, if you live in England you’re not exposed to the daily routine of Scottish politics and life. Sure, the advent of the internet meant it was easier to catch up with what was going on but you never experienced it first hand.

Last November I returned to Scotland to mainly recuperate from a stroke and deal with cancer. I saw the day-to-day life of Scotland. I saw ‘Scotishness’ first hand and some reactions were initially that some of it felt parochial however this was a relic of my thinking that the default situation for these islands is the UK. The SNP’s inability to conform to the default position and thinking of many in England antagonises people, in the same way some people are antagonised by Muslims wearing veils or speaking Polish in the street. It’s a failure to accept there’s other cultures in the UK and a reluctance to accept that Unionism (because this is what I’m really talking about) naturally involves crushing other cultures to be assimilated like some red, white and blue Borg.

So the SNP could be a right wing party that supported independence and promoted a Scottish identity separate from a Unionist one. They’d be equally despised by some. It’s the independence that rankles them because it challenges their own default identity. Their centre-left platform isn’t that much different from Tony Blair’s early days when he dabbled with social democracy but because they propose that there’s alternatives in these islands to Unionism (and everything that comes with it) they rile people up to the point of blind hatred. I’ve come to see independence as a political solution and a natural state for all countries to have, so although I won’t vote SNP (except in the general election as I think they’re the only way we’ll fight off the Tories in a Westminster election) I don’t see them as scary bogeymen any more.

And that’s where we are in this election campaign. Identity and culture will play a massive part of this election not just in Scotland and Northern Ireland, but across the UK as a whole because this is where we are thanks to Brexit. Corbyn’s Labour haven’t realised this, but Theresa May has hence why she’s called this election when a default position for many is a form of uber-Unionism that sees the UK as the centre of the world.That position may not be popular when the realities of Brexit kick in, so in Scotland I think we get what’s at stake here. Back in England any attempt to fight this solely on policies without dealing with Brexit (and everything that comes with it) hands the Tories an advantage. In this election identity is all, and it’s a straight fight between a hard/far right Unionist one and one Yes supporters offer. Make your choice.

Clap your hands if you want some more

There’s not much to report on the old health or life front at the minute since the Barrowlands show a few weeks ago. Cancer is still in remission, stroke recovery is going well, though missing one week of physio due to Easter means that I’m sorer than a sore thing that’s been inserted in a sore place. Plans for my Empire in Glasgow are on hold til the old body decides to play the game so I’ll have to put off bringing the Masterplan to fruition until 2018 so some of you can breathe a sigh of relief. That doesn’t preclude me from doing the odd small mart for the rest of 2017 of course but I think playing it sensible is a wiser option than throwing everything in a huge pot in a hurry. Essentially it’s best to leave a roast cooking a bit longer than serve it cold and uncooked.

And oh, Kiefer Sutherland is playing Glastonbury. He won’t be torturing someone on stage for 45 minutes, though I dunno. That probably will be more fun than watching Kieffer Sutherland, but maybe he could shoot someone in the kneecaps for an encore?

So for now it’s relative stability. Get a bit fitter, get some things sorted out,do Glastonbury,  pull shapes and then get on with it all…