Boris Johnson wants you to die

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The worst possible thing about this headline is that most of us can very much imagine Boris Johnson saying this as the UK has over 125k people dead now and one of the worst death rates on the planet. Yes, The Daily Mail is a vicious rag pushing to cheer on their next champion as Johnson has outlived his use, and his possible replacements are far more terrible, but for now we’re governed by a man who treats most people with contempt and the terrible thing here is we can all hear Johnson saying these words.

This is the sort of dystopia we’re living in and yet,people still cheer Johnson on as some sort of champion of the people. We’re totally fucked.

Jim Steinman’s Batman musical

The sad news about the death of Jim Steinman obviously brought out memories of listening to Meat Loaf as a kid, mainly because of the Richard Corben cover of Bat Out of Hell, and being a young person developing his own tastes I thought if the creator of Den did a cover for someone then it has to be ridiculously over the top which of course it is. Steinman changed the career of so many from Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler, through to the Sisters of Mercy where he helped rewrite the sound of Goth to include big pompous drums and guitars that lives on til today.

However the thing that slipped from our grasp was a musical adaptation of Batman, specifically Tim Burton’s Batman film from 1989. Sadly it was not to be, however the music lives on in all its OTT glory.

Sit back, turn it up and enjoy…

Support your local football team

By now the reaction to a European Super League featuring the richest teams in Europe (who are not the best teams in Europe) is overwhelmingly negative across the UK and Europe. The clubs involved are being threatened with being banned and fined from their home leagues, and the players banned from playing in international tournaments such as the World Cup.

Yet this has been coming for 30 years since football was beginning to be gentrified. Once people any local love for their teams and instead supported the most successful club out there, or that one Derek from accounts mentioned once in the pub, we’ve had a generation brought up in thinking football is just like picking out a nice pair of socks or the bottle of wine you’ll neck this evening. By the time Sky sunk its hooks into the game and working class fans of these ‘elite’ clubs were priced out, and once the stakes were raised once the likes of Manchester City started playing the game with cheats turned on all it needed was one last push to convince these clubs to break away.

That seems to be the Covid pandemic. Clubs are playing to empty stadia which has killed the atmosphere, but people are still watching games which means buying subscriptions which means the audience is there. These club owners don’t care about the fans, just the chance to make money which means a European closed shop and a worldwide audience of people who don’t care about the histories of these clubs. They just want the team they’ve been marketed to aggressively that they ‘support’ to win.

Now these clubs may back down which is unlikely but possible. It could end up with these clubs gaining a monopoly over the Champions League for a few years before this idea returns in five of six years time but the gauntlet has been thrown and UEFA, FIFA, the English, Spanish and Italian FA’s plus broadcasters and governments need to react fast before it becomes too late.

There is however one thing you as a fan you can do which is support your local side. Not your multinational franchise that charges 25 quid for a burger and chips at half time and a tenner for a bottle of warm mildly alcoholic piss,but your local side where you can a pie and a pint for a tenner, and you’re welcomed because they want and need you to survive. Throw the gentrified clubs away, see who your local club are and give them support. They might not win each week, they might play crap but you’ll be supporting an important part of the community and not a billionaire who just wants your 30 quid a month because it means they can buy the Moon or something like that.

Go back to the roots, turn your back on these clubs and find out that actually, things are not too bad on the front lines of being a football supporter where a result means something to everyone in the stadium. Give it a try.

What I thought of Alien #1

I’m writing up a blog of comics I’ve read in March/April and notice how positive it isoverall but one comic stinks the whole thing up so I’ve split it off from the rest. Without much further ado let’s dive into Alien #1 from Marvel.

For decades Dark Horse have carefully nurtured the Alien license from small beginnings with some of the many series they’ve put out being excellent. Aliens: Hive by Kelley Jones is highly recommended for example. So when Disney bought 20th Century Fox it was always on the cards they’d give the license to Marvel and this long-awaited first issue by Phillip Kennedy Johnson and Salvador Larroca disappoints on so many levels from the thin, lacklustre script to the surprisingly dreadful art by Larroca who Is normally a fairly safe pair of hands.

As an example take this spread.

Most of those figures are all derived from the old Alien model kit.

Which is why they all look stiff and inorganic because the artist can’t be arsed with his take on the Xenomorph. Of course there is a chance this is a request from editorial which if so should lead to arses being soundly kicked as it just looks awful. Slap on top a dreadful colour job(why are colourists scared to use bright colours rather than using different shades of shit blue/green/grey?) and what should have been a big triumphant blare from Marvel they can do as well as Dark Horse, ends up looking as if the corporate monolith which is Disney have sucked the life out the Alien concept. We shall see but this is a poor first issue and I really can’t see there being much of an improvement in future with this team.

Also, just to drive the nail home of Marvel/Disney fucking with a license, there’s an omnibus edition of all the Dark Horse stories being released starting next month. None of the original creators stand to earn a penny from it even though over the decades they’ve all earned royalties from trades, reprints, etc. Marvel will make money from this, the creators won’t. So something that would be nice to have is something I’d rather avoid if the likes of Mark Nelson, Kelley Jones and Steve Bissette lose out because Disney/Marvel are tight bastards.

I want to fly into Godzilla’s mouth

Anyone who’s followed this blog for all the years I’d done this will know I am a massive fan of Godzilla in all his big scaly goodness and the recent Godzilla Vs Kong was a cinematic wet dream even if the script sucked harder than a Dyson. So when I found out a Godzilla theme park existed where one could zipline into the mouth of a life-size Godzilla based upon the Shin Godzilla version which is this version.

https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/shin-godzilla-2016/Shin-Godzilla-2016-2.jpg

Which is a great, and scary version. The idea of zipping into its mouth and coming out the back, though not the arse of Godzilla, sent me off to YouTube to find videos of this so here you go.

The chances of me doing now I’m disabled, and in current pandemic conditions means a trip to Japan is ruled out, but looking at this makes me wish it’d been built even just a decade ago because I’d be in and out his maw all bloody day! Thankfully these videos give me a jist of that experience but I do wish someone would build one of these things in Europe.

Death of a Royal

Prince Philip died the other day and much of the UK media went slightly mad. All of the BBC’s channels were suspended on Friday to show tributes, and as for ITV they went full mourning as well so all the UK’s main terrestial channels were given over to this one story as if it’s the 1950’s, not 2021. Yes, it is a major story but we’re also in the middle of a pandemic which has killed 125K people, plus all the effects of lockdown, etc means countless lives have changed for the worst and they all get a couple of minutes of presenters and politicians looking serious. A 99 year old man dies and it’s getting more coverage than that or 7/7 or even that insane week in 1997 when Diana died and half the UK lost their minds.

So pity us stuck on this island which has lost its mind and will continue to make things more insane for those of us still with some sense of reality…

About the one off Glastonbury event

There is to be another year without a Glastonbury Festival and I am sad, but there is a one-day pay-per-view event featuring Coldplay and a selection of bands you’d see on the Pyramid and Other Stages, but as a representation of the festival as a whole, it’s still just a part of it all. It just represents the main stages.

20 quid for a one-day event like this is fine, and I’ll chuck them the money as this is to help support the festival and folk who haven’t been able to work in over a year. I’m fine with that, plus it will be nice to see the farm, but the line-up is the sort of thing that if it were a real festival line-up, I’d be spending time in the comedy tent or up the Green Fields. I just wish it was a wee bit better and more open.

But hopefully this is the last year with no festival and next year, we finally have a festival again, assuming we can get tickets…

What I thought of Godzilla Vs Kong

There is no way one can review or talk about this film as you would any normal film. This is a film called Godzilla versus Kong where two giant monsters twat the hell out of each other for our entertainment. Yes, there is a ‘plot’ but it is complete and utter nonsense, while the script is complete garbage as some very good actors say some appallingly written lines but it does not matter a jot as this film features Godzilla and Kong headbutting each other. The acting is just above ‘Michael Caine turning up for the paycheque’ level, and in some cases people try to do more than what’s needed with a thin bowl of gruel but this film features Kong hitting Godzilla with an enormous glowing axe. The direction by Adam Wingard is sometimes clunky, but it is ok as when he’s directing scenes which feature Godzilla trying to beat the shit out of Kong by throwing him through skyscrapers then he’s done his job well.

This is a film for 9-year old me. I would have killed to see this film then. I would have done it decades later if the pandemic had put off its release much longer. This is fun, junk entertainment well made that looks fantastic at times, and yes, the script sucks but the final half hour of fighting in Hong Kong (a city here with an endless supply of skyscrapers to trash) looks fantastic, but this is a big budget peice of entertainment that will never, ever enter the lists of best films ever made but does take up a place in my favourite films because this is Godzilla versus Kong and I can’t ask for more than that.

What is the point of Good Friday anyhow?

Good Friday for years meant waking up late morning, going to the cafe to get lunch, then off to the pub for a full 8-12 hour session, followed by a Saturday lying in whatever bed you ended up in. Happy days, but nothing at all religious, but now in my old age Good Friday means sleeping til around 9 instead of getting up at 7am, before enduring another day of lockdown which as there’s no work today involves working on a couple of blogs, one about the insane Lindsay Ellis situation, and some stuff about comics and festivals.

Mainly though it will be about Godzilla versus Kong, oh my, it will be about that. Because this is the best I’ll get to a day where I end up drunkenly chatting up people at 2am in a seedy nightclub in a Midlands town.

So now the point of Good Friday is big monsters twatting the fuckity out of each other. Small things in an aging world…

Nirvana live in Newcastle 1991

I saw Nirvana around half a dozen or so times with each time being an experience for one reason or another but the one time I missed out was seeing them play in Newcastle, partly because it was in the legendary Mayfair, a nightclub of many rooms with dark corners where young people of the age did glorious things with drugs and other people’s body parts.

I was a tad annoyed as one can imagine so thanks again to YouTube and the person who had the foresight to go to one of NEwcastle’s finest clubs on one of its best night with a camcorder so this night can be preserved for folk like me.