The oppresive dirge which is ‘Three Lions’.

England are in the final of a major tournament for the first time since, well, you all should know when as it’s regularly driven into our minds. This means Three Lions will be played every hour, on the hour, by every radio station in England, which is a pity because it is a fucking entitled dirge of a song.

The ‘Its coming home’ line was originally I understand meant to refer to the Euros in 1996 being held in England, but it quickly meant the trophy will come ‘home’ to England ‘cos we deserve it.

Which is bollocks and a shame because the song has potential. It is however not worthy to wear the shoes of New Order’s World in Motion which is simply perfect, and to which is also ripped off by Three Lions. World in Motion is a big cheerful look at a possible future, while Three Lions is far too wrapped up in mid 90s nostalgia of the 60s.

On the other hand Three Lions 98 tries to redeem itself and turn itself into a future-facing joyful thing without much of the entitlement but that now has been cast aside for the 96 version. But these are the final days of Britpop so that nostalgia is still there in spades.

Fact is barring New Order’s effort, football songs are shite. Three Lions happens to be the most successful one because it taps that vein of entitlement in England fans that the rest of the world should just jolly well let them win and now we’re on the verge on them possibly winning this song is about to imprinted upon us far beyond what it has been up to date.

And the only true winners are the people who wrote it as the royalty cheque this Christmas will be enough to buy a small island.