I know what’s coming with the ‘Oumuamua’ asteroid

The ‘Oumuamua’ asteroid is swooshing into the solar system like a deadly giant chocolate finger.

Is it just a strange chunk of space rock? Is it an alien probe? Is it a doomsday machine? Is it a story designed to fill pages and gain clicks as we hit the Christmas and New Year holidays?

I dunno, but I’m hoping it’s this…

Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce is a work of demented genius. If we do have a giant alien spaceship full of hot naked space vampires then bring it on. It wouldn’t be any weirder than anything else going on right now.


Lets all play Whamageddon

This year’s Christmas thing is ”Whamageddon”.  Here’s the rules…

The Rules

The 1st Rule
The objective is to go as long as possible without hearing WHAM’s Christmas classic; “Last Christmas”.
The 2nd Rule
The game starts on December 1st, and ends at midnight on December 24th.
(Yes, we’re European heathens)
The 3rd Rule
Only the original version applies. Enjoy the fuck out of remixes and covers.
The 4th Rule
You’re out as soon as you recognise the song.
Bonus Rule
Post on social media with the #whamageddon hashtag when you get hit.

This is of course a fun way to try to avoid the audio festive spam that is Wham’s Christmas song.

So seeing as every year that Christmas song gets played everywhere from train stations, to supermarkets, to toilets, operating theatres, lifts, phone boxes, bus stops or anywhere here’s a chance to see how you do before it gets you.

Me? It’s the 5th of December and I’ve not heard it yet. I don’t expect this to last long though…

Urban weirdness

Inner city living comes with a variety of positives and negatives. You have to accept the negatives like a certain level of noise, etc, but there are lines to draw. One of those lines is the weird bloke staring at your window  as shown in the second clip in the video below.

I’ve had this happen a few times. Most of the times I wrote it off as someone casing out the place and they’re normally gone when you turn the lights on or open the window. Sometimes though they don’t. Sometimes they carry on staring at your window at 3am and don’t get put off by anything.

Once this happened in a flat I lived in when I was still in Bristol. Started at a weekend and carried on over a few weeks to the point the police were called and it was freaking out some of the other people in the flats. Latest was just yesterday when someone was staring at the flat window from the car park out back that caused me to call the police only to be told they couldn’t send anyone round as nobody is doing anything wrong. True, but hiding behind cars in the dark staring at windows doesn’t strike me as a wee bit suspicious if you ask me.

Anyhow, all this urban weirdness has got my mind bubbling and I’ll be going more into it in future blogs.

Nicolas Cage on drugs

Back in 1990 Nicolas Cage was still a young actor with some great credits to his name and a reputation in exact opposite to the one he has today as a jobbing actor who will do any auld shite for the money. In 1990 he was doing the rounds publicising his new film, the wonderful David Lynch film Wild at Heart.

Also in 1990 Terry Wogan was the UK’s leading chat show host with his amiable teatime chat show on BBC One which didn’t do more than allow people to plug their latest book, film ,etc. Enter into this one Nicolas Cage on what must have been spectacular drugs…

Cage is spectacular here. This is what actors should do when asked to plug their latest film rather than blandly answer questions, but once Cage was off the drugs we were only treated to this sort of lunacy in his films as he increasingly cared nothing for his work beyond the cheque he got for being in something. This though remains a brilliant example of live telly and how you can get anything…

Facebook have replied in regard their deletion of the JFK FIles

Last week or so Facebook decided to spark the conspiracy theorist node in my brain and flagged a CNN article about the recently released JFK files. Well, they sorted it out but it’s only taken me til today to notice as Facebook ensure you don’t actually see updates or important things like this.

I’ve sent them another message basically saying what the bloody fuck? but I’m not holding my breath for a reply as to why out of the thousands of news items I link to it takes issue with this one which just happens to be the granddad of all conspiracy subjects??

I blame it on chemtrails.

Facebook deleted my post about the JFK files

During the day I’m working so sometimes I can’t read an article in full, or I want to share something with followers on Twitter or mates on Facebook. The big story at the minute are the release of the JFK files, and although I’m no conspiracy theorist I am fascinated by the JFK case. Anyhow, I Tweeted a link to a CNN article which was placed also on my Facebook page as all my Tweets do but for this one,Facebook has decided it’s spam and blocked it.

I’ve Tweeted literally thousands of articles from newspaper sites over the years. Not one sniff from Facebook but this is considered spam? Now, I’m no conspiracy theorist but Facebook are making me reach for the tinfoil here as this is frankly, a bit fucking mental so I’ve appealed the decision purely to see what sort of reply comes vomiting back at me.

Stay tuned!

Poppygeddon is upon us

We’re coming up to Remembrance Day so rather than a solemn time remembering the dead it has become a time where people wear offensively ostentatious poppies and people go ballistic if you don’t wear one. Last year I saw people wearing them at the start of October. This year, I’ve seen them in September. Kay Burley will be wearing one any minute the size of the Isle of Wight. Footballer James McLean will suffer his annual ritual of abuse earlier as he doesn’t wear one. Nigel Farage will wear poppy patterned socks in memory of ‘our boys’. The UK will turn into one giant poppy and if you don’t like it then even the children will attack you for not wearing as big a poppy as humanly possible.

Every year it gets worse. Every year the concept of the poppy gets further away from the idea of remembering the dead to one where it somehow celebrates the dead while encouraging young people to join up to die to be celebrated. It is in effect the dystopian world of Robert Heinlein where citizenship is only validated through armed service and the next war will be one where the children of poorer families are sent to die yet again.

And each year we loose sight of the concept of remembrance as too many play to the outdated ideas of British exceptionalism and imperialism, so strap that sick-bag to your head and be prepared for the next three weeks.