Apocalypse Now

This..creature, is now the UK’s Prime Minister at the start (if you think the last three years have been bad you ain’t seen nothing yet) of the worst peacetime crisis in UK history.

boris-kipper

Of course the Germans have him nailed.

dpbj

In short; we’re fucked. There is no way out. The Tory Party are closing ranks much to the pain of middle class liberals who thought Rory Stewart would lead a revolt, and Johnson will make any deal he can with Nigel Farage’s lot of dangerous arseholes (I fully expect Farage in government within the year) to keep Labour (who are more interested in some fucked up campaign of political purity anyhow) and other opposition parties out. An election will be held an barring some miracle, Boris Johnson will keep his job.

We’re fucked. Really fucked and we’re not even at rock bottom yet.

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The state of British politics

Watching the Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt debate on Sky it strikes me how utterly and totally fucked we are, and by ‘we’ I mean those of us who aren’t political zealots, careerists, white supremacists, disaster capitalist/socialists, antisemites, Islamophobes or just generally arseholes.

By the end of this month Boris Johnson will be Prime Minister. A man totally out of his depth and unable to do anything that isn’t for his benefit, or the benefit of those who he’s in the pocket of like Steve Bannon and Donald Trump. Meanwhile the Conservative Party will hope Johnson provides the aid they need against Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party who are soaking up support mainly from the Tories and anyhow, Johnson will do a deal with Farage to ensure the Tories remain in power and Farage gets that top job he’s been after for decades.

Good thing we’ve got an effective official opposition then! Oh wait, we don’t. Labour aren’tfit for purpose trapped in an antisemitism scandal that could have been stopped by chucking out some of the SWP types who’ve got back in the party years ago, but they’re now trapped. Anyhow, the leadership and a chunk of Corbyn followers are more interested in political purity than power or any actual concern for people who’ll be fucked over by Brexit.

Hey, there’s the Lib Dems! Well, no. The party has fine remain credentials but otherwise is a swamp of what Thatcher used to call ‘wets’, which basically means the likes of Jo Swinson (potential leader) is happy supporting things like the bedroom tax and imposing austerity upon people because she doesn’t give a fuck about the poor.

Here in Scotland there’s the SNP who have discovered the art of saying much and doing little to progress the fight for a second independence referendum beyond vague rhetoric. The suspicion is that many in the middle and higher reaches of the party are happy with the power and influence they have, and knowing fine well the only way we’re getting independence is via the SNP, are happy stringing things along. After all as soon as we’re independent the political landscape is literally up for grabs and people like their advisor jobs or seats in Holyrood or Westminster or having the ear of Nicola Sturgeon.

Then there’s the Greens, but they’re clogged in identity politics  (which to be fair, the SNP and Labour are too) while seeming happy to sit in the SNP’s slipstream.

With a no deal Brexit coming on Halloween, we seem to be stuck with a mess and nobody with the spine to make a break for sanity. Because we are leaving and it will be with no deal. Johnson’s career hinges on it and he won’t let his career fail even if it means a recession to make 2009’s seem like a blip, plus with the Labour leadership convinced their form of Brexit will be better (kind of like saying AIDS is better than cancer) we really are in a state.

But hey, the sun’s out for now.

How comics have predicted the next Tory leader

Imagine a populist Conservative MP pitching fear and hate by demonising minorities on a relentless single-minded march for power that risks throwing the UK into eternal chaos and carnage? No, not Boris Johnson but Jim Jaspers from the revamped Captain Britain strip of the early 80’s as created by Dave Thorpe and Alan Davis, and latterly written by Alan Moore.

Of course it isn’t superheroes in Johnson’s case, but Muslims, or indeed any minority, but mainly Muslims as they’re easy targets and it plays to the Tory base, not to mention the folk following Nigel Farage into whatever circle of hell they’re destined for.

And before you think that an irrational hate-filled madman would really turn the UK into a charnel house for the most vulnerable may I remind you of the bodycount piling up thanks to austerity, and with Johnson planning to leave the EU with no deal therefore enabling the sort of poverty we won’t recover from for generations, if at all, then look at this. 

In short, we’re fucked but at some point back at the dawn of Thatcherism a few people in British comics thought of just how bad things would be come the age of the populist who doesn’t care about facts or reality. They just want to bend reality to their own will and of course, their own benefit which is why folk like Trump and Farage win elections, and now Johnson looks to be following in their paths to leap to electoral glory thanks to the worst opposition in memory and an electorate which has truly fell through the looking glass.

Today’s anti-Brexit cuck snowflake leftie propaganda

Today has been the 75th anniversary of D Day. So it’d only be a pinko leftie snowflake who’d use today to make a political point about Brexit!!

Eric Chardin was just 19 when he landed in Normandy. Now at the age of 94 he hopes the peace that followed WW2 will continue

“I can’t help feeling that it would be an awful shame if what we’ve gone to so much trouble to do, to collect the European big nations together, to break it all up now would be a crying shame,”

Oh.

You mean someone who actually experienced the blood and guts of actual war thinks Brexit is a bad idea? I mean, it isn’t as if he’s served weekends in the territorial army or something like that!

Oddly enough Brexiters are pretty quiet on Mr. Chardlin’s comments as if being confronted by the living embodiment of everything they aren’t scares the hell out of them as his comments are entirely true. It took decades to build a mostly peaceful, mostly united Europe that now hasn’t faced a continent wide war in 74 years and now a small group of wealthy hard/far right populists, disaster capitalists and extreme lefties are all united to destroy the work of generations built on the corpses of Mr.Chardlin’s comrades.

So remember the words of someone who fought in WW2 never time some red-faced wank guffs on about how ‘we beat the Germans’ to his equally moronic mates. These are the people shitting on the legacy of those who sacrificed everything to free Europe from the sort of fascism we’re seeing a return of.

The horrible commodification of Glastonbury Festival

One of the things about late capitalism is how everything, and I mean everything can be commodified, gentrified and repackaged in a way where the end goal is to sell you shit or encourage you to make others money. Most of us accept this as part of living in a developed society but every now and then some example of this comes staggering into view to remind us that there’s something unnatural about what’s being done to to which is essentially pitching to you under the guise of giving advice with YouTube being rife with fresh faced teenagers and 20-somethings dishing out advice with cries of ‘hit that bell’ and demanding likes.

Of course people need to make a living and some YouTubers are entirely upfront in what is a massive industry assuming YouTube don’t strip your ability to make money from your videos, which they are doing to people, but they are leaving hordes of videos which are essentially just advertorial.

Which brings me to this video.

It’s harmless enough. The advice about umbrellas is a nonsense and the Millennial tweeness is sickly, but here’s Glastonbury Festival fully absorbed into late capitalism and that great anti-establishment event becomes the mainstream it always stood against. Now to be fair, it has been like that for a good 15 years at least and this year I’m looking forward to enjoying the festival as much as I did my first 27 years ago.

However the rush from multiple parties to commodify every aspect of the festival from the beers you drink to the best toilet paper to wipe your arse with is depressing. These videos are essentially harmless on their own but combined they create a white noise that can’t be avoided.

But with three weeks to go I’ll be looking forward to creating my own festival, hopefully free of being sold to just for five days…

Michael Gove hates Scots

A Stab in the Dark is a satirical show broadcast on Channel 4 in 1992. Basically a vehicle for David Baddiel but also featured Michael Gove in a ‘comedic’ role which strains the term ‘comedic’. For years it’s been a bit of an obscure joke in comedy fandom circles for featuring Gove, and an episode which featured Jimmy Savile which will never be repeated.

Gove, frankly, drains any life the show has from the air which is remarkable as there’s no life in the programme as it really is awful straddling the ‘serious’ Channel 4 and the radical Channel 4 of the early 90’s. There’s a handy YouTube compilation of Gove’s stuff and I warn you, it is appalling.

One clip came to light this week where he tears into Scots. Yes, Michael Gove is Scottish but he’s that strain of Scot who looks at his fellow countrypeople with contempt because they aren’t all like him, or ‘professional’ as he puts it.

Now 1992 was a tough year for a lot of people in Scotland. On my frequent trips to London you’d hear more and more Scottish accents as tent cities grew and grew on London’s Embankment. Things were bad but instead of seeing people in distress looking for help as they hit bottom, Gove’s instinctive reaction is to sneer and mock.

And this isn’t the only thing that comes out of this programme. There’s an extraordinary clip where he discusses talks with the IRA in a way that had we listened to Gove, we’d never had peace in Ireland.but Gove has made it clear the Good Friday Agreement should never have happened. See Gove is a hardline Unionist who would drag us into hell with nothing but contempt for people who don’t fit his standards and this man could well be Prime Minister by the end of July.

How scary is what’s happening with The Brexit Party?

For all of Nigel Farage’s obvious faults it would be churlish to deny that The Brexit Party has become a real force in an amazingly short time. Of course the BBC and ITV have given the party zero percent scrutiny but Sky News produced a quite astonishing, not to mention, scary report on Farage and the Brexit Party which should be watched by people struggling to understand what’s happening right now, and give those thinking there isn’t anything worse coming some pause for thought.

There’s a new Tory leader coming who if it isn’t Boris Johnson will still be an ultra-right wing Brexiter who will not only take the UK crashing out the UK,  but to preserve the future of the Conservative Party, will reach to Farage who will become part of the Tories. It would also not shock me to see him given a cabinet position as the Tories need to do something to stop their party from literally dying off and tapping up Farage ensures it survives in some bastardised form. Of course old school right wing conservatism will be dead to be replaced with ultra populist ethnic nationalism but the party would prevail.

But this is a possible future. Right now with the European election results due to be counted tonight, Farage will swing to victory in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland will reject him. The UK’s politics continue to fracture.

So watch this Sky report as it’ll be one of the few times Farage is held to account because the fawning starts.