UKIP voters fight for the right to bum dogs

In a YouGov poll a quarter of UKIP voters support the idea of having sex with a dog. I’ll let you digest that for a second.

SNP and Lib Dems are the least inclined to look at an Alsation and think ‘hmm, sexy’. UKIP voters are the most likely to look at a pug and think ‘I want that slobbering on my hard Brexit’. Tory voters are only slightly less turned on by a Great Dane than a UKIP voter while overall a quarter of voters would like to lay into a Labrador which is terrifying. Next time you go to vote, have a look at everyone else there as a quarter of them would like to indulge in bestiality.

I guess they’ve gone to the dogs…

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The strange case of infeasibly large breasts on comic covers

Due to recent circumstances the majority of my weekly comic reviews are going to be ditched, or moved to That’s Not Current, the site I also write for, but I’ll still keep the odd thing here like my Crossed, Miracleman and Providence reviews which I know from looking at my stats a lot of people read, and hopefully enjoy.This blog I’m going to keep for all the fun cancer and stroke stuff, plus the odd rant like this.

This doesn’t mean I’ll stop reading comics or scouring the weekly lists on Comixology and as for this week there’s nothing especially interesting out, but one thing caught my eye.

This cover for a comic called Tarot.:

Tarot-97

Apart from being poorly drawn and tiresomely derivative  (seriously, there’s tens of thousands of covers like this that have been printed over the years) how on earth does that poor lassie go through life without serious backache?

I mean look at her; she’s got two watermelons attached to her chest (with optional blood dripping off her nipple) and from what the odd ex-girlfriend or friend who has large breasts have said, it’s a chore at times having essentially two large bags of sugar growing out of you.

It’s obviously sexualised for people with a certain peccadillo, and I’m not adverse to the odd bit of cheesecake myself, but the fact that this sort of thing is still being published is depressing. Now I’m not doing a Guardian columnist thing here and saying they should be banned, but if you’re buying this to have a cheeky wank in the year 2016 and you’re above the age of 14 then for fucks sake guys have a wee word with yourselves!

Party Monster is a film that changed my life

I’ve mentioned briefly before that Party Monster, the 2003 film starring Macauley Culkin as the real life ‘club kid’ murderer Michael Alig is possibly one of my favourite films of all time.

Party Monster Quad (Page 1)

This article on the Vice site got me thinking about the film and just indeed, what it did for me the first time I saw the film back in 2003 when I first saw it at the Stockholm Film Festival.

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The thing that changed it for me was the realisation I didn’t need to give a fuck about what others thought about me. It’s a silly thing but I spent years worrying whether I’d  live up to other people’s expectations but seeing the antics of drug crazed murder Michael Alig as played by drug crazed Macauley Culkin somehow resonated with me to finally get myself secure in the knowledge that I’ll be fine, even if I wasn’t a drug-crazed murderer, though I have been known to be drug-crazed every now and then…

It’s funny how one thing, one work of art, or anything can trigger something isn’t it?

What I though of ‘Whipping Up A Storm’ by Natalie Rowe

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Natalie Rowe is a Bradford born dominatrix who had some very interesting clients in the 80’s onwards, and Whipping Up A Storm is her story from a wee girl in Bradford dreaming of fame and fortune, to a head of an escort agency called Black Beauties who would service the needs to the rich and powerful in London, and indeed, in other parts of Europe. In the UK she’s famous for causing a bit of a stir about her relationship with current Chancellor George Osborne, and this picture of her and Osborne at one of her parties in her flat in London.

OsbourneRoweCoke

The book tells Rowe’s story in more or less sequential order from her youth in Bradford through to her moving to London in the 80’s, then her success in building up her business selling sex to the rich and powerful and ends at some point in the 90’s where to say the very least, she’s lived a life and a half by then.

Throughout the book Rowe does make you confront your feelings about prostitution as it’s the case her that I never get the impression 99% of the time that Rowe is being exploited by anyone. She comes over far too strong a person for that, and the argument is that she and her agency provided a service which a variety of customers more than glad use, and it’s these customers that provide some of the humour of the book as frankly, some of them are powerful, but pathetic figures desperate to relive some of that domination they had in the places likes Eton where they grew up. I’ll not reveal too much but my personal favourite is Mr. Twist, and although his personal peccadillo made my eyes water Rowe makes one particular story of him leg-crossingly hilarious.

But the money shot of this book is George Osborne, the man it seems is destined by the Tory Party to succeed David Cameron as Conservative leader, and he hopes, the next UK Prime Minister. Even when she first meets Osborne as part of a group of three exceptionally posh, not to mention wealthy friends she’s wary of him, and although she indulge in a bit of S & M (on a professional level) with him (he likes dressing in rubber pants) she feels he’s not an especially nice, or indeed, a decent person.

Osborne frankly comes over badly as a spoiled, entitled rich kid that thinks he’s destined for big things but fails to relate to the working class of poor because as a good Tory, these are not Osborne’s people. He also comes over as a damaged person but almost psychopathic in his dealings with people which is something that even a casual observer can see. Then there’s the drugs and there’s a lot of drugs (he calls them ‘naughties’) consumed by Osborne in the course of this book.

If you like political gossip, biographies and a big chunk of social comment (which runs through this book whether Rowe meant to or not) then Whipping Up A Storm is an essential read. Yes there are problems with it. A good editor would have tightened up the narrative plus a proofreader would have cut out the spelling and grammar mistakes but this is a self-published book via Amazon so don’t expect that same level you get elsewhere in those regards.

Otherwise this is a cracking bit of gossipy, scurrilous muck-spreading that reminds the public that the  reader that those MP’s who proclaim to be morally superior are probably being buggered senseless, or being whipped by someone like Natalie Rowe who’ll charge them a rather large sum of money for it.

The book is available via Amazon and can be bought here. Do so, it’s worth a tenner just for the Osborne stuff by itself….

People are finding this blog for the search term ”what is fucking?”

I’ve had some odd search terms that people have used to find my blog here over the two years I’ve been doing this. Some are fine, some are a bit sick (seriously) some are funny but one keeps coming up over and over again and that’s this term…

whatisfucking

That’s right, people are putting ‘what is fucking’ into Google and finding my blog. Now what they’re probably finding are blogs about politics, or comics, or just general rants but a detailed blog outlining exactly what fucking is won’t be found here. So who is doing this at least half a dozen times a month? Is it kids? Is it people trying to find the town of Fucking in Austria?

So this blog is a plea really to ask just what you people are trying to find? Are you children then in that case ask your folks? Are you Christian fundamentalist virgins wondering why your trousers get tight while looking at the weathergirl on the telly? Are you just gone in the head? What?  I’d like an answer as I’m clearly being treated as an expert thanks to the power of Google, though that could be the fault of my habit of fucking swearing a fuckload in a lot of my fucking posts? I dunno.

This post then is a lightening rod for all you strange, strange people. Please tell me the reasons without making my skin crawl if that’s possible….

Ireland has voted Yes to gay marriage

It’s not quite official yet but it looks as if the people of Ireland have made a giant leap for equality and voted for gay marriage to be legal. Asked the question  “Marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction as to their sex.” the answer for most people seems to have been ‘yes’.

That’s a remarkable thing considering how much in the lock of the Catholic Church Ireland was which makes this image the most appropriate for this day.

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Well done Ireland, you’ve given all the right people a kick up the arse and you’ve made things better for people. You can’t ask for any better than that.