In 1947 David Bowie was born and last year he died far, far too early last year which seemed to kick off what was a pretty dreadful year for anyone who isn’t a racist or a fuckwit.
Last September I posted about how I’d never listen to his final album,Blackstar, due to the wish to forever hold one final unheard bit of Bowie there at arm’s length. It was a nice idea, but unrealistic as bits and bobs of it have sneaked out into my ears so I’ve decided that it’d be a nice treat to myself to listen to it when I’m (hopefully) told my cancer is in remission after my (hopefully) final set of treatments which start at the end of this month. I don’t think I can face an idol of myself making music about their impending death while I’ve still got the thought and possibility of my own possible early demise rattling around in my head.
So happy birthday David Bowie. Here’s Absolute Beginners for no other reason that its my favourite Bowie song of the 1980’s…
I don’t think I want to listen to David Bowie’s final album, Blackstar. I don’t think I can. This isn’t because I despise Bowie, or what snippets I’ve heard sound awful, but the idea of hearing a final album from Bowie and then knowing that’s it; there’s nothing else new I’ll ever hear from David Bowie is a concept so hugely depressing that I can’t bring myself to sit down and listen to it.
When Bowie died from cancer back in January I was gutted beyond words. I could barely articulate what I felt and when a few months later I myself was diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to avoid listening to the album probably due to it being a reminder of my own mortality even though my diagnosis isn’t terminal it’s bad enough to have considered my own untimely demise often over the last six months.
Which brings me back to Blackstar. It’ll remain unlistened to my myself.I don’t need to be reminded of Bowie’s early demise, nor do I want to have no more Bowie to listen to. I want to keep that thrill of excitement over a new Bowie album going for as long as I can before I finally (and I will) give out and accept Bowie’s gone and what we’ve got is it.
So I hope Blackstar wins this year’s Mercury Prize but for me, for now, I’ll back off from listening to it until I’m ready to accept Bowie is gone.