Giant Monsters Attack!

There’s a new Godzilla film next month. Fuck your Star Wars. Fuck your Avengers. Fuck your Harry Potter-esque Young Adult bollocks. I want giant monsters twatting the fuckity out of everything for over two hours.

But for many this isn’t an instant hit with folk, but perhaps some history would help. Here’s a nice wee documentary from the 90’s going into the Golden Age of giant monsters. Watch, enjoy and then learn to love the monster.

 

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Godzilla in Love

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I always wanted to write a romantic comedy called Godzilla in Love which would feature Godzilla (metaphor for the nuclear bomb and large Japanese monster famous for smashing up Tokyo and being played by men in rubber suits) falling in love with the girl of his dreams, only to be thwarted by the massive differences in scales, Godzilla’s lack of observable genitalia and the fact he fell in love with a vegan while Godzilla would do anything for love, but he’d not give up eating buildings full of meaty people.

Sadly it never developed beyond this initial idea and I don’t think anyone barring myself would want to watch a film where a foppish Hugh Grant-esque radioactive monster sings Partridge Family songs to the girl of his dreams while raining down radioactive fire on Notting Hill. Though radioactive fire raining down on Notting Hill might at least cull the media class down a notch or two.

This all comes to mind as today is Valentine’s Day; the one day where men of all ages fight to the death in Lidl trying to get the last bunch of lilting lilies for their partner. You’ve not lived til you’ve seen someone beaten to death with a Findus roast beef frozen dinner for two and a bottle of £0.99 cava, and today is the day where dreams are barely lived up to and card manufacturers end up choking to death on Everest-sized piles of cocaine.

So today cast a thought for all those Godzilla’s out there with their city smashing antics and lack of discernable genitalia.They need love too. Perhaps one day I’ll get my shit together and write about it?

The Godzilla: Resurgence trailer is fucking brilliant

I love Godzilla. The recent American film was ok, but it wasn’t quite Godzilla. It was close though. In July in Japan there’s a new Japanese Godzilla film called Godzilla: Resurgence, or Shin Godzilla if you speak Japanese. Here’s a gif of a bit of the trailer.

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Now, assuming your pants are in a soggy mess like mine, you’d like to see the full trailer.

Here it is.

July is only three months away…

What I thought of Godzilla in Hell #2

Thoughts about #1.

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This issue is written and drawn by Bob Eggleton who uses a lovely palate of colours to help portray Godzilla’s journey through hell, and of course his big fights with other Toho monsters who are also in hell for some reason. In this case the issue opens with a barney between Godzilla and Rodan with predictable results.

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Next up is a battle with Anguirus in a frozen part of hell..

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And there’s a couple of more monsters that turn up to face Godzilla to have more big fights which is essentially the entire point of anything to do with Godzilla. I don’t after all remember watching Godzilla films because of the characters or the plot, but because I want to see big monsters twatting the shite out of each other.Godzilla in Hell does everything it should and stylishly so too. If you want one comic featuring giant monsters twatting each other this month then this should be it.

What I thought of Godzilla in Hell #1

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When I heard that writer/artist James Stokoe was going to produce a comic called Godzilla in Hell from publishers IDW I was throwing my money at my computer screen and dropping my pants in excitement, because it’s fucking GODZILLA in HELL!! Fuck, it even tells you this in the first big splash page of the first issue in case you’ve forgotten in the three pages since the cover. Really this is Dante’s Inferno but with Godzilla, and Stokoe makes this really clear.

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Stokoe’s Godzilla is a glorious thing with a lovely expressive face, and he manages to draw body language on him perfectly which is handy if you’re doing a comic that’s on the whole devoid of any dialogue.,

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Of course Godzilla should fight giant monsters, and this being hell, that’s not long before a giant monster comes along for a fight.

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This really is enormous fun for giant monster lovers, Godzilla fans, not to mention scholars of Dante as I’m betting there’s never been a version with a giant fire-breathing monster before. As for Stokoe, I wasn’t familiar with his work previous to this but it’s lovely. It manages to cross Japanese manga with an American style that isn’t painfully cutesy, plus he gives Godzilla a real personality. Well, as much as a giant lizard can have I suppose.

Godzilla in Hell is the best looking, most fun Godzilla comic I’ve read in some time and I hope Godzilla’s descent into hell is as entertaining next issue as this one is.

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #5

Thoughts about #1#2#3 and #4.

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As a massive surprise this final issue of this five-issue miniseries features a massive fight between Destroyah and Godzilla that results in massive destruction of a world already devastated by the Kaiju apocalypse.

Sod all that though, it’s all about BIG MONSTERS FIGHTING!!

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There is some sort of story but it’s been so pointless in relation to the scenes of BIG MONSTERS FIGHTING that it only slows down what has been a light, though fun little miniseries.

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Cheerio Godzilla….

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #4

Thoughts about #1#2 and #3.

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Godzilla: Cataclysm #4, like the three other issues so far, features lots and lots of this.

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Big monsters hitting each other and smashing things up. Oh there is some gubbins plot about survivors in a post-apocalyptic world but that really gets in the way of monsters hitting each other and screaming loudly.

Oh look! It’s Godzilla fighting Mothra!

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Ultimately it’s the Big Fights that matter in this. Everything else is really academic. Sadly there is only one more issue of Big Fights and this fun wee series is over.