Giant Monsters Attack!

There’s a new Godzilla film next month. Fuck your Star Wars. Fuck your Avengers. Fuck your Harry Potter-esque Young Adult bollocks. I want giant monsters twatting the fuckity out of everything for over two hours.

But for many this isn’t an instant hit with folk, but perhaps some history would help. Here’s a nice wee documentary from the 90’s going into the Golden Age of giant monsters. Watch, enjoy and then learn to love the monster.

 

Godzilla in Love

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I always wanted to write a romantic comedy called Godzilla in Love which would feature Godzilla (metaphor for the nuclear bomb and large Japanese monster famous for smashing up Tokyo and being played by men in rubber suits) falling in love with the girl of his dreams, only to be thwarted by the massive differences in scales, Godzilla’s lack of observable genitalia and the fact he fell in love with a vegan while Godzilla would do anything for love, but he’d not give up eating buildings full of meaty people.

Sadly it never developed beyond this initial idea and I don’t think anyone barring myself would want to watch a film where a foppish Hugh Grant-esque radioactive monster sings Partridge Family songs to the girl of his dreams while raining down radioactive fire on Notting Hill. Though radioactive fire raining down on Notting Hill might at least cull the media class down a notch or two.

This all comes to mind as today is Valentine’s Day; the one day where men of all ages fight to the death in Lidl trying to get the last bunch of lilting lilies for their partner. You’ve not lived til you’ve seen someone beaten to death with a Findus roast beef frozen dinner for two and a bottle of £0.99 cava, and today is the day where dreams are barely lived up to and card manufacturers end up choking to death on Everest-sized piles of cocaine.

So today cast a thought for all those Godzilla’s out there with their city smashing antics and lack of discernable genitalia.They need love too. Perhaps one day I’ll get my shit together and write about it?

The Godzilla: Resurgence trailer is fucking brilliant

I love Godzilla. The recent American film was ok, but it wasn’t quite Godzilla. It was close though. In July in Japan there’s a new Japanese Godzilla film called Godzilla: Resurgence, or Shin Godzilla if you speak Japanese. Here’s a gif of a bit of the trailer.

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Now, assuming your pants are in a soggy mess like mine, you’d like to see the full trailer.

Here it is.

July is only three months away…

What I thought of Godzilla in Hell #2

Thoughts about #1.

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This issue is written and drawn by Bob Eggleton who uses a lovely palate of colours to help portray Godzilla’s journey through hell, and of course his big fights with other Toho monsters who are also in hell for some reason. In this case the issue opens with a barney between Godzilla and Rodan with predictable results.

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Next up is a battle with Anguirus in a frozen part of hell..

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And there’s a couple of more monsters that turn up to face Godzilla to have more big fights which is essentially the entire point of anything to do with Godzilla. I don’t after all remember watching Godzilla films because of the characters or the plot, but because I want to see big monsters twatting the shite out of each other.Godzilla in Hell does everything it should and stylishly so too. If you want one comic featuring giant monsters twatting each other this month then this should be it.

What I thought of Godzilla in Hell #1

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When I heard that writer/artist James Stokoe was going to produce a comic called Godzilla in Hell from publishers IDW I was throwing my money at my computer screen and dropping my pants in excitement, because it’s fucking GODZILLA in HELL!! Fuck, it even tells you this in the first big splash page of the first issue in case you’ve forgotten in the three pages since the cover. Really this is Dante’s Inferno but with Godzilla, and Stokoe makes this really clear.

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Stokoe’s Godzilla is a glorious thing with a lovely expressive face, and he manages to draw body language on him perfectly which is handy if you’re doing a comic that’s on the whole devoid of any dialogue.,

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Of course Godzilla should fight giant monsters, and this being hell, that’s not long before a giant monster comes along for a fight.

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This really is enormous fun for giant monster lovers, Godzilla fans, not to mention scholars of Dante as I’m betting there’s never been a version with a giant fire-breathing monster before. As for Stokoe, I wasn’t familiar with his work previous to this but it’s lovely. It manages to cross Japanese manga with an American style that isn’t painfully cutesy, plus he gives Godzilla a real personality. Well, as much as a giant lizard can have I suppose.

Godzilla in Hell is the best looking, most fun Godzilla comic I’ve read in some time and I hope Godzilla’s descent into hell is as entertaining next issue as this one is.

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #5

Thoughts about #1#2#3 and #4.

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As a massive surprise this final issue of this five-issue miniseries features a massive fight between Destroyah and Godzilla that results in massive destruction of a world already devastated by the Kaiju apocalypse.

Sod all that though, it’s all about BIG MONSTERS FIGHTING!!

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There is some sort of story but it’s been so pointless in relation to the scenes of BIG MONSTERS FIGHTING that it only slows down what has been a light, though fun little miniseries.

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Cheerio Godzilla….

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #4

Thoughts about #1#2 and #3.

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Godzilla: Cataclysm #4, like the three other issues so far, features lots and lots of this.

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Big monsters hitting each other and smashing things up. Oh there is some gubbins plot about survivors in a post-apocalyptic world but that really gets in the way of monsters hitting each other and screaming loudly.

Oh look! It’s Godzilla fighting Mothra!

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Ultimately it’s the Big Fights that matter in this. Everything else is really academic. Sadly there is only one more issue of Big Fights and this fun wee series is over.

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #3

Thoughts about #1 and #2.

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A Godzilla comic should start with BIG MONSTERS TWATTING EACH OTHER, and not talking as if this is an issue of The Walking Dead, a comic which seems to be an influence for this post-apocalyptic Godzilla tale. When the monsters do come the action is thick, fast and fun but really, this isn’t anything but a series of fairly cliched post-apocalyptic beats we’ve seen before but the action is fun when it does arrive.

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This is a bad book, but unless you really want to read characters you don’t give a toss about endlessly talking before MASSIVE MONSTERS START THWACKING EACH OTHER, then try something else.

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #2

Thoughts about #1.

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This is a comic which is probably critic proof as it’s Godzilla fighting monsters in a post-apocalyptic setting where Godzilla fights big monsters and does this:

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I don’t really care about Arata and Shiori, the two characters caught up in this battle because they’re typical post-apocalyptic stereotypes, who help the reader get from one giant fight scene to the next.

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It’s not as simple as that actually. Godzilla: Cataclysm is as fun as a post-apocalyptic comic can manage to get, mainly because of giant monsters twatting each other. This isn’t classic comics but it is a good Godzilla tale told well with a mean looking Godzilla drawn by Dave Watchter, who manages to make the whole thing look very good indeed.

It’s a fun read but that’s it. This really is for Godzilla fans only.

 

What I thought of Godzilla: Cataclysm #1

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I love Godzilla. So a post apocalyptic Godzilla comic should be the sort of thing that requires me to change my boxer shorts.What’s that, this is a post apocalyptic Godzilla?

Yes, here’s the synopsis:

Years have passed since the monster apocalypse nearly destroyed mankind. Now it is merely a distant, nightmarish memory for Hiroshi, an elder in one of the few remaining tribes of humans. Little does Hiroshi know that the apocalypse is not over, and that his memories of the past may yet save the future!

 

We’re pretty much overloaded with visions and stories of a post apocalyptic world in comics with The Walking Dead being the main one, but other titles like the Crossed comics tell a different type of apocalypse, but on the whole it’s become a tiresome way for writers to attempt to say something about the 21st century and fail badly. I would normally be wary of this comic from writer Cullen Bunn and artist Dave Watchter, but it’s fucking Godzilla! So I bought it.

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The art is fantastic and Watchter clearly adores the scenes of big monsters twatting each other, but he manages to convey a ruined Tokyo years after the monsters have gone.

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As for the story, well, there’s not much to it. Survivors go foraging. Find weird things, Bad things happen. Monsters. Godzilla. It’s fun but it’s nothing more than functional though with this being the first in a five issue mini series, it’s obviously unfair to judge the entire series just yet.

Though really, I got what I was expecting from Godzilla: Cataclysm. Big monsters twatting each other and some of the usual post-apocalyptic cliches. It’s not going to drive the medium of comics forward but it is a fun little Godzilla story.