Attack of the pub singer

Many of us at some point have encountered a pub where a pub singer is in full flow and been amazed at the beautiful awfulness of them. Vic Reeves used to make pub singing part of his act as the good pub/club singer is that rough diamond where the terribleness of them becomes transcendent and becomes something so glorious it becomes the best thing you’ve ever heard.

The other week standing by the statue of Donald Dewar in Glasgow I heard the greatest, most transcendent pub singer I’ve heard doing a version of the theme from Flashdance.

Yes, I managed to get ‘Donald Dewar’ and Flashdance into a sentence…

Anyhow, this is the greatest thing you will hear. I wish I could have recorded more but I was busy giggling like a loon so wandered off before the singer realised I was recording him, but seriously, this is genius!

Enjoy.

Marvel Comics thinks you’re all idiots

Marvel Comics are having yet another relaunch where every issue is an event and that sound you hear is the sound of the collective arse of Marvel Comics falling to the floor. Their ‘Legacy‘ relaunch promises to return to the old numbering system and a more ‘traditional’ form of superhero comic. Apart from being bollocks, it’s also an admission Marvel have fucked up, and worse, they’ve been treating you, the reader, as a bumbling idiot willing to lap any auld shite up as long as it has a ‘#1’ slapped on the cover.

This is contrived nostalgia passing itself off as a creative outburst, but it doesn’t matter if the comics Marvel produce are awful, which on the whole they are. Marvel are admitting they want to appeal to old fans, but hey, you’ll be able to have a handy checklist to work out the numbering of all your favourite Marvel titles which doesn’t sap the joy from creation but it does keep fans (and dealers fed up trying to work all this bollocks out) happy.

Still, as bad as this is, it could be worse.

The trouble with Corbyn

I’ve voiced concerns about Jeremy Corbyn a lot of late, especially since seeing him at the Pyramid Stage at this year’s Glastonbury Festival where I saw a crowd cheering on someone who I think is setting people up for an almighty fall. I’ve never been able to fully pin down just quite what the problem with Corbyn is outwith of the fact he’s not what he pretends to be and Labour are still a party mired in policies of austerity and a faux radicalism that just tweaks round the edges while keeping the establishment machine in place.

Alan Bissett manages to articulate everything I couldn’t in this video from the excellent Phantom Power. It’s an excellent, and damning, critique of Labour and especially Jeremy Corbyn in relation to Scotland and is essential viewing.

Fighting Nazis in the 21st century

In the US right now there’s a load of actual real Nazis meeting and marching in Charlottesville with actual real life armed militia marching with them. It is by any stretch of the imagination an ostentatious display by white supremacists that’s resulted in one anti-Nazi protester being killed so far. I say ‘so far’ because I’m astonished more people haven’t been killed.

Terms like ‘alt-right’ are essentially meaningless. They’re Nazis. Call them that. Groups like the National Vanguard are just Nazis and here’s where we have to stop agonising about how to deal with them. We don’t tolerate them. We fight them, and we don’t sit around like some of the ‘radical’ left agonising about whether violence is wrong or how much guilt we should have for the situaton getting here. We know Donald Trump encourages these people and has made it easier for them to grow in his short time so far as president and we know good people have died while the far-right grow and become empowered, and this is what we’ve got to remember: Trump has empowered them, just as Brexit & it’s cheerleaders like Nigel Farage have over here.

At this point people should read Umberto Eco’s essay titled Ur-Fascism, because we’re living in the age where it has finally become real again and not something of Eco’s childhood. What we’re seeing in the US and UK is Eco’s Ur-Fascism, and that scares me that we’ve let it get to a point where we need to fight not just a bunch of National Front arseholes, but vast swathes of the country who are turning to a form of fascism that is endorsed by those in power.

Back in the early 90’s the NF tried to make one last push to start the race war they were wanting. Groups like the Anti Nazi League stopped them because black, white, whatever race, religion, background united to fight them; often literally. I myself carry scars from those fights back in the days when I lived in Nottingham and we’d have to stand our ground against them. We beat them. Sadly the job now is harder and it won’t help if people aren’t prepared to perhaps get their hands a bit dirty because I look at pictures like the one below and think the young folk surrounded by actual armed Nazis are among the bravest people I’ve seen.

Those people standing in the middle of a crowd are amazing.That’s who we need to be in the days.months and years to come because sitting in Byres Road cafes worrying about the structrual problems of racism isn’t going to stop the prick with a Union Jack tattooed on his arm from beating up Asian shopkeepers. Let’s be blunt, we’re in a fight and the time for polite discussion is gone.

And the problem is the same over here in the UK. We know Neo Nazis pose a larger threat than Islamists because this is what the authorities tells us, but it barely gets reported outwith of the odd mention. If we don’t actually stop this by fighting the Nazis where we can, and making an argument for a multicultural, progressive society (and those on the left leaping on the Brexit bandwagon to get Labour into power aren’t helping one bit) we’re fucked. So lets take it back to basics, unite, argue, fight and win together and remember, punching Nazis is good for the soul.

Lets all have a thermonuclear war!

Seeing as Donald Trump is now running his foreign policy as if it was a clip from Robocop, it seems that those of you under 35 or so now have a wee snifter of what those of us slightly older put up for most of our lives. Welcome to the fear and tension of a potential nuclear war.

These days Millennials will Tweet and maybe write an angry blog about how nuclear war is a sign of the patriarchy while sipping a craft beer, but back in the day we had art like this.

Or we’d confront the fear in comics such as this Marvelman tale..

But until the Netflix generation does their own version of Threads they won’t experience the cold sweats of waking up thinking the streetlight is a nuclear blast. That was fun back in the 80’s.

So for those of you not familar with this fear; welcome to the party. For those of us who’d forgotten it, time to dust off your Protect and Survive tips to pass down to the younger generations as we all unite in fear that a pair of cunts could doom the world before we even get to the end of the new Twin Peaks.

Now that would be the end of the world!

Attack of the West End Trendies

I live in a nexus of places in Glasgow. One of those places is the West End of the city famed for people with accents that pay homage to the idea of being from Glasgow and ‘West End Trendies’, that is people like this that Limmy takes the piss out of in the below video.

Or indeed, now trendy and famous comic artist Frank Quitely in his Electric Soup days with his Wendy the West End Trendy strip.

About a minute’s walk from my flat is Finnieston, the trendiest of all West End trendy areas where one can quite literally wade waist deep in people drooling about this week’s new craft ale or that antique dress they saw. It displays the sort of pretension that makes Stokes Croft in Bristol look like Chelmsford on a Saturday night when Chelsea are at home.

On the whole these slaves to fashion are relatively harmless, but I’ve been warned of the ”ironic’ Buckfast drinker since coming back to Glasgow, and today on the train home from work I saw one in the wild for the first time.It was a sight to see someone in their best hipster jumper sip from a bottle of Buckfast while braying at his equally repellent friend brayed back at him. Fortunately I had to get off before I threw up my pelvis but seriously, if you’re ‘ironically’ drinking Buckfast then you’re just a bit of a dick. I can just about tolerate all the other bits of wankiness, but this whole ‘let’s play at being poor’ shtick is a game for pricks.

Next time I get sniffy at people who stand around by entrances looking lost while blocking the way in/out. Grrrrr…..

For a revolution to succeed it needs to be more fun than the alternative

There’s lots of people saying their piece on the Scottish Independence movement’s civil war with some wise comments, and in the case of Ross Greer of the Greens, some less than wise comments. Even Greer makes good points but it strikes me as more like someone demanding an ideological purity in the Yes Movement with all this talks of people being ‘cast out‘ and the demonisation of ‘older white men‘ than someone writing a piece asking for this civil war to end.Greer points at others with snobbish glee and doesn’t seem to realise that in doing so he’s given the opponents of independence exactly what they want.

And then there’s no sign of this dispute ending…

Part of the problem is that there’s some on the left who see independence not just as something that needs to be done in a certain way, but that they should be at the centre of it. Or to quote Orwell, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents. I want independence because I want free of the confines of the British state to create a better, fairer country for everyone. I won’t get that if we don’t win independence and we won’t win independence if we’re busy trying to make it clear that only a certain type of independence is desirable. That won’t help anyone as it won’t happen.

I, like hundreds of thousands of independence supporters are frankly, fucked off with all of this when right now there’s a clear battle to be fought and people suffering. Now,I’m not suggesting people like each other but perhaps people could put aside their own career prospects and dump the faux purity for the battle we’re in? We don’t fight as one we’ll never get anywhere and frankly for a revolution to succeed it needs to be more fun than the alternative, and right now the independence movement isn’t fun but some are offering sage advice.

Fact is the Unionists love this. They’re the only one’s who benefit from this, barring of course, the occasional media career of some fighting to show themselves more pure than anyone else. So I think people need to ask what they’re doing here. Do they really want self-determination and a better place, or do they just want to endlessly whine while allowing the real bastards to get away with what they’re doing to people right now?