I’m going to make you sweat

So, Prince Andrew and that interview

pizzaexpress

I won’t go into the gory details as I’m sure there’s nobody in the Western world who hasn’t heard Andrew’s word and how much of a lying liar he is. The lack of ability to sweat has been debunked for the steaming bollocks it is, and at no point does he say anything honest.

But the fact is that if this had been an ordinary member of the public they’d be in a cell today after answering police questions, but because he’s a member of the British elite he’s able to avoid prison so Andrew can spend the rest of his life not sweating because the establishment looks after their own.

Boris Johnson goes to Glastonbury

Yesterday and today Jeremy Corbyn has been making an arse of himself here in Scotland. Today though Boris Johnson stepped up to the plate to show himself incapable of normal human interaction, plus he managed to be kept out of a staged visit to a bakers in Glastonbury.

However this wasn’t his first time at Glastonbury. Back in 2000, the BBC invited Johnson down to the festival to be escorted around by Billy Bragg on the Friday of the festival. At that time Johnson was editor of The Spectator, plus he was gathering a strong media profile as an ‘affable Tory’ so here is paraded on the Leftfield stage on the Friday.

Now I missed Johnson’s slot having ingested some quantity of alcohol and mushrooms, but here it is clear how Johnson is shaping his image, and how easily it was for it to be formed by people playing along with the gag.

Here we are 19 years on and the act seems to be wearing thin but the question is to those of us in our nice, leftish wee bubble is it really wearing thin with the people who’ll vote for him, or place him as a better option as PM than Corbyn? Stick our heads into the real world and Johnson has supporters across the UK, well, England who will put their vote to his party in less than six weeks.

Johnson is dangerous. He’s a shapeshifter who lies continuously and cannot be trusted. As a Unionist he’ll strip back devolution, leaving us with no way to insulate ourselves which means we have a situation where someone who wants power so much and to wield it without opposition will do anything to win.

Jeremy Corbyn comes to Scotland

Today the Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been in Scotland showing once again he knows more about Central America than he does about a country he may potentially be Prime Minister of in a month. There’s several main problems with Corbyn in Scotland; the first being he still doesn’t know what is, and isn’t devolved. Just saying ‘I want to invest £70billon in Scotland’ seems great, but it ignores our democratic deficit as well as ignoring the fact that money would I assume be given to Holyrood, so it isn’t for him to spend.

This is dreadful stuff as by now he should be able to string together more than throwing money at us, while wearing a cheap tartan scarf because you know, Scotland. We’ll like that sort of thing as he pats us on the head…

But it is over the subject of a second Scottish independence referendum that he fails hopelessly. Now remember, there is a triple lock of a democratic demand for it. PRo indy parties won the last Westminster and Holyrood elections, and Holyrood itself has voted for one. Corbyn, etc talks of ‘allowing’ us a referendum, maybe, perhaps, possibly in his second term when he’ll have dragged us out the EU, and the mad auld bastards that surround him will have won. You don’t ‘allow’ an equal, that’s something only a powerful ‘partner’ does.

Corbyn however cannot give a clear answer. One minute it’s not going to happen, next he can’t rule it out. Even a sympathetic Scottish press corps can’t help but despair at Corbyn’s snapping back about failing to maintain a clear position.

mussoncorbyn

And now Labour are pumping out ‘Tartan Tories’ lines as if the last 45 years never happened, because this is Labour in Scotland. Trapped in the past unable to relate, stuck in ideology, unable to relate. So now we have Corbyn’s comments being rightfully laughed at while all the time the Tories are pissing themselves laughing.

Which is the problem. See, Scotland needs independence because partly we can ensure the Tories never get their claws into Scotland, but because some middle class psuedo socialists within Labour see us as only drones, we’re to be doomed to this thin gruel from a leader supposed to be the resurrection of Labour in Scotland.

That isn’t to say the SNP are a perfect solution (more about that another time) but this is intolerable but tomorrow when Corbyn heads back down south to a more comfortable audience, he’ll forget about Scotland yet again.

 

 

The Brexit axis of evil

Today Nigel Farage revealed what was obviously coming, when he told an eager media that his Brexit Party wouldn’t compete in seats currently held by Tories. Essentially Farage has realised the one biggest thing that could stop Brexit was him so we now have an enemy alliance as it were.

This was always going to happen. Farage is a nasty wee prick, but he’s not stupid so we have this which honestly will give Tories dozens of seats. Of course we have to see if The Brexit Party just put out paper candidates in other seats, but again, I never expected this election to anything but fair.

Remember, only a month of this fucking thing to go…

Wipe the Tories out

Although Scotland and Wales have a clear choice in their anti-Tory parties in the SNP and Plaid Cymru, while Northern Ireland is a tad more complex, the seat of Tory power is England and it is to England we all look to in order for them to get the Tories out.

I don’t think they will. I fear the Tories will lose votes, but a crap set of opposition parties (plus the sheer unpopularity of Corbyn and Swinson with many voters) will result in England, again, inflicting a Tory government upon us.

Still, I can but hope otherwise…

Five more weeks of election misery.

All the leading parties have now launched their election campaigns and are probably right now chapping your door asking if you’d vote for SNP/Lib Dem/Green/Plaid/Tory/Labour/UKIP and on and fucking on as we hit that dead zone between campaign launches and the meat of a party’s campaign, their manifesto. Once we get that, then the hard work begins as we work out just how little the party involved will pay attention to their promises but this election is about Brexit. This also means working out what party would be best to achieve your Brexit goal.

So that means wading through literal piles of shite. For some parties their position is clear. SNP, Greens, Brexit Party, UKIP, Alliance, Plaid Cymru, DUP, and SDLP are perfectly clear; in or out. Tories are a Brexit party but they’re literally a party splitting in two with both sections quiet for now while the election runs but will be biting great big fucking chunks out of each other on the 13th of December. Labour are also a party of Brexit (some might say ‘nuanced’ but the position is going down like beds full of bloody shite with Remainers and Leavers), and are also literally ripping themselves in two but aren’t hiding the fact for the election period choosing instead to expose all their dirty linen in public. Then there’s the Lib Dems who are just fundamentalists in everything, be it Brexit, their Tory-lite policies or their Unionism.

And we’re in a place where we have five weeks to decide how the future of the UK goes from this utter sitshow.

”Man-Gull” is the greatest comic I’ve heard of this year

A big thanks to Cartoonist Kayfabe for pointing out the glory that is Man-Gull.

MGsticker_400w

This should explain more.

Man-Gull is published by Stock Pile Comics, and is the vision of creator Rian Millar. Here’s the synopsis…

Normally, a double dismembering would draw the attention of every law officer in the small town of Pleasant Point. However, with a string of serial kidnappings keeping the majority of the police force busy, the weight of this bizarre case falls solely upon the shoulders of Detective Nick Obecks.

Who is behind the disappearances of multiple young women? What would compel someone to cut off both of poor John Moxon’s arms? And where is Nick going to sleep now that his girlfriend has kicked him out?

I NEED to read this, but seeing as shipping comics from the US is exceptionally expensive for single issues so I’m putting out a word as to how many people I know who want one of these beautiful gems before getting a load over.  Til then I await the glory of the Man Gull!